Working in retail gives an individual a unique perspective into the mind of general public. And let me just say this: the general public is made up of a lot of douchecocks. I have been working at a retail giant for the past couple months and I have seen some shitty ass people from ALL walks of life come through my check lane. Allow to provide you with some examples.
1. Parents who have screaming children and refuse to discipline them.
2. Morons who come to the check lanes with merchandise they cannot afford, and present air of huffing indignity when confronted with that fact.
3. People interrupting other customers to ask for stupid things.
4. Talking on a cell phone while checking out, and giving specific instructions when options were presented to you while you were on the phone.
5. Asking for light-weight shit to be double-bagged in paper just because you're walking.
6. Your mother taught you manners; use them.
Now allow me to provide some feedback ...
1. Your whining children are providing an unhappy shopping experience for everyone around you, not to mention those of us behind the register who have to hide our looks of disdain when your jelly-covered 3-foot asshole is ripping up and chewing on gift cards while you dig for money. Get a leash and a muzzle or, wow here's an idea, learn how to raise your children. No, Parker, Mommy isn't going to give you a cracker if you can't behave! No! No! ... *Sigh* Okay, well do you want Mommy to hold you so you stop crying? is not disciplining or properly raising your child. Stupid cunt.
2. Learn some addition and subtraction. If you made it past the sixth grade this shouldn't be too difficult for you; if it is, bring a calculator with you. Piling a shit ton of merchandise on me and saying "I don't want this!" or "You need to scan all this (pile A) and then let me know if I can afford this (pile B), I have $50.00." Learn some math, cunt.
3. Excuse me, Mister ... do not interrupt me while I am ringing through someone's merchandise and making pleasant conversation with the customer who is actually contributing to my paycheck by tapping me on the shoulder and asking me "Can I have a paper bag?" or "Hey, I need change can you open your till?" No, I can't make change, walk your lazy ass up to guest services and get change.
4. Listen to me, you idiotic bitch, the fact that you have the nerve to tell me "Um, I'm sorry (insert a gaggle of laughs and a hair flip or three) but I really wanted paper" after I've bagged everything in plastic, because you were too busy discussing the date you had last night on your cell phone while ignoring my pleasant "paper or plastic" and "do you have a bagging preference," oh, and "is plastic okay?" should mean that you get plastic, because a hairbrush, some toothpaste, and a two boxes of cereal does not warrant a large paper bag, but I need this job so I'll hold my tongue and rant in this rather bitchy run-on sentence rather than telling you to eat my asshole. P.S., you don't deserve such deliciousness.
5. I understand that working downtown I am going to be dealing with patrons who walk, for the most part. I live downtown; I walk (or bus) everywhere I need to go. I also bag shit daily, so I know what I am doing. I also know that people use paper bags as trash bags because don't want to buy garbage bags and a garbage can, so please excuse me when I internally roll my eyes at your request I double-paper bag your two boxes of pasta, a half gallon of milk and some candy. It's unnecessary.
6. I am a naturally polite person, despite my subversive sarcasm. I could get along with a stop sign. My point is, if I smile at you, engage you in idle conversation while ringing your merchandise through, and genuinely tell you to "have a great day" the least you can do is smile back and say hi or at least respond with more than a grunt and an "uh" to my questions. Just because I can read facial expressions doesn't mean I don't enjoy a polite customer. When I deal over five hundred customers per day, and over half of them act like you, I only wish you could hear my inner monologue.
Now, clearly these are some rants of mine, but they're pretty universal. I realize everyone working in retail has similar stories/complaints/problems. However, this is my first REAL retail job. With the exception of restaurant management, which is different than retail, I've only worked in office settings and call centers for the most part. Even photobooths were less-stressful. Is it really necessary for you to take your frustrations out on the cashier (who, trust me, would rather have their eye lashes tweezed out one by one in Fallujah than deal with you) who is, in most cases, doing this job for less than half of what you make per hour.
Okay I'll stop being a ranty bitch now :) Just had to get that off my chest.
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