Last year I wrote that I wanted to make Pride 2009 something more than the previous Pride celebrations I'd attended. Pride '09 was my fifth Pride celebration in Minneapolis. While I had a fantastic time with my friends, my Pride celebration turned out to be much like the four before it.
So again, as June waits in the wings like a over-pumped diva who's had eight-too-many vodka diets, I find myself thinking about Pride. What does Pride mean to me? Am I proud to be gay? Fuck yeah I am, but why does that matter anymore, in this day and age? As time goes on Gay Pride will diminish and it'll simply be a human rights thing, not a gay rights thing.
I guess the first thing that comes to mind is paying respect to those who came before me. I can't imagine being a gay man in the eighties or the seventies, and mostfuckingdefinitely not in the fifties or sixties. Today I am able to walk around and be myself. I can hold hands with my boyfriend (if I had one) in public to minimal ridicule, I can attend massive parties like Pride, I can go to gay bars without fear of being accosted as I leave, and while I can't get married in forty-five states or serve openly in the military, I enjoy a lot more freedoms than my gay brothers from twenty years ago.
So there's definitely a respect there. I also think about myself in my early twenties ... ten years ago ... I was out and proud, and I had a lot of gay friends but I don't think I really understood what my responsibility was as a gay man. Hell, I don't think I understand it now, at nearly 32. Part of me feels, as a minority in this country, I have a social responsibility to progress gay rights. Another part of me shits on the concept; I never signed up to be an activist and I just want to live my life. Not that I've done anything that would classify me an activist.
So Pride 2010 will be my sixth consecutive Pride in Minneapolis. Am I getting sick of being here for Pride? Yes, mainly because I always do the same things. I mean, hell yeah, Pride is a party. But it should be more than that, shouldn't it?
So why Pride? I have to say I don't really know what Pride means to me at this point. Am I disillusioned you ask? No I don't think so. Jaded and bitter? Probably. But I think that comes with age. Most of us aren't lucky enough to be blessed with the same optimism we entered adulthood with.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
A Pox On Humanity
Recently, while reading articles on the House and Senate's votes that will eventually (hopefully before November 2010's midterm elections) spell the end of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, I came across an article detailing how military chaplains, spurred on by the Family Research Council, are against the repeal of DADT.
I'm not going to go into my feelings on DADT or why repealing it makes a world of sense ... why it's just the human thing to do.
I will, however, wade into the pool of my hatred of organized religion. Here is another example where organized religion has managed to creep into the political machine. Anyone remember Separation of Church and State?
Chaplains play a very important role - I won't deny that - in the lives of many, many service members (gay and straight) currently serving in the U.S. military. Their services, however, are not forced upon the men and women wearing uniforms. Why then, are the opinions of Chaplains, of any importance in this debate?
It doesn't take a lot to see this is just another attempt from the Right Wing Nut Jobs to sully the progress of gay rights in America. I mean, if it were up to the true conservatives, Americans would still be able to own slaves, women wouldn't have any rights, and the sun would still revolve around the Earth, so why the fuck are we listening to the loons? Do these jackasses even subscribe to the hate speech they pander? Probably not ... many of them are out participating in gay sex acts in foreign countries, airport bathrooms (Larry I'm talkin' to you gurl!), and hotel rooms.
I guess what I'm getting to ... yes, I know, I take the long road ... deal with it bitches ... is what kind of country would we have if religion didn't play such a powerful role? I mean, I'm not knocking faith, but faith and what faith means, has absolutely nothing to do with organized religion, which is just a subversive form of sub-government. If you need any proof of this examine the Catholic Church at length.
Think about most social and global conflicts, wars ... most in their basic forms stem from religious differences. Anyone remember studying The Crusades? The Christians are still responsible, even after all this time, for shedding the most human blood in the name of God. I'm not just knocking religion here in the United States, I'm knocking it everywhere.
Now way back when ... when humans were nothing more tribal idiots banging sticks and grunting instead of talking ... religion was probably invented as some sort of mythology to explain the unexplainable. Earlier humans probably took comfort in a higher power watching over them. Indeed, millions of modern humans take comfort in this. Again, I'm not knocking faith or people who have faith in a higher power. If that's your thing ... go for it.
However, why does the Christian Right feel the need to judge everyone and everyone? Doesn't "God" say Judge not lest ye be judged yourselves or some boo-hockey like that? I have to wonder, how many real Christians would exist if you removed the Sunday Christians (a.k.a. hypocrites) who have nothing better to do than sin it up with the best of us and then turn around and judge us. Probably not very many.
Faith gives people comfort and hope; but what does religion give you? I mean, do any of you who are Christians or Sunday Christians or Catholics or Muslim or whatever ever stop and mentally separate your faith in a higher power from the actual politics of your religion? And to any asshole who is going to say "well faith and religion go hand-in-hand," fuck you and the bible you spooged on a few minutes ago. If you actually believe that, then you haven't really thought it out.
Plain and simple ... organized religion is nothing more than a pox, a blight, on humanity and the world and its citizens would be a lot better off without it.
Goodbye from my asshole.
I'm not going to go into my feelings on DADT or why repealing it makes a world of sense ... why it's just the human thing to do.
I will, however, wade into the pool of my hatred of organized religion. Here is another example where organized religion has managed to creep into the political machine. Anyone remember Separation of Church and State?
Chaplains play a very important role - I won't deny that - in the lives of many, many service members (gay and straight) currently serving in the U.S. military. Their services, however, are not forced upon the men and women wearing uniforms. Why then, are the opinions of Chaplains, of any importance in this debate?
It doesn't take a lot to see this is just another attempt from the Right Wing Nut Jobs to sully the progress of gay rights in America. I mean, if it were up to the true conservatives, Americans would still be able to own slaves, women wouldn't have any rights, and the sun would still revolve around the Earth, so why the fuck are we listening to the loons? Do these jackasses even subscribe to the hate speech they pander? Probably not ... many of them are out participating in gay sex acts in foreign countries, airport bathrooms (Larry I'm talkin' to you gurl!), and hotel rooms.
I guess what I'm getting to ... yes, I know, I take the long road ... deal with it bitches ... is what kind of country would we have if religion didn't play such a powerful role? I mean, I'm not knocking faith, but faith and what faith means, has absolutely nothing to do with organized religion, which is just a subversive form of sub-government. If you need any proof of this examine the Catholic Church at length.
Think about most social and global conflicts, wars ... most in their basic forms stem from religious differences. Anyone remember studying The Crusades? The Christians are still responsible, even after all this time, for shedding the most human blood in the name of God. I'm not just knocking religion here in the United States, I'm knocking it everywhere.
Now way back when ... when humans were nothing more tribal idiots banging sticks and grunting instead of talking ... religion was probably invented as some sort of mythology to explain the unexplainable. Earlier humans probably took comfort in a higher power watching over them. Indeed, millions of modern humans take comfort in this. Again, I'm not knocking faith or people who have faith in a higher power. If that's your thing ... go for it.
However, why does the Christian Right feel the need to judge everyone and everyone? Doesn't "God" say Judge not lest ye be judged yourselves or some boo-hockey like that? I have to wonder, how many real Christians would exist if you removed the Sunday Christians (a.k.a. hypocrites) who have nothing better to do than sin it up with the best of us and then turn around and judge us. Probably not very many.
Faith gives people comfort and hope; but what does religion give you? I mean, do any of you who are Christians or Sunday Christians or Catholics or Muslim or whatever ever stop and mentally separate your faith in a higher power from the actual politics of your religion? And to any asshole who is going to say "well faith and religion go hand-in-hand," fuck you and the bible you spooged on a few minutes ago. If you actually believe that, then you haven't really thought it out.
Plain and simple ... organized religion is nothing more than a pox, a blight, on humanity and the world and its citizens would be a lot better off without it.
Goodbye from my asshole.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I've Had ... And I Want
So tonight I rewatched a move I've not seen in years ... a film I first watched in 1999 when it came out. As far as gay movies go, it was one of the first that was actually well-produced, well-scripted, and well-acted. If you've never seen a little romantic comedy called Trick, I recommend you get off your dildos and go rent it immediately. It's about two young guys who hook up, with the intent of having sex and end up doing everything other than have sex. It's cute, you'll have to watch.
My point is, the film, which is rather hope-inspiring as any good romantic comedy is, made me remember how optimistic and starstruck I was ten years ago. This was before my heart was majorly broken; before one disappointment after another made me jaded; before I became a cynic.
At twenty-one I was so sure I was going to take the world by the balls and show it who was boss. I was positive I'd find true love, and life would be hunky dory by the time I turned thirty. Well I turn thirty-two in two months, and I am here to say life isn't hunky dory. My optimism has taken a dark and twisty turn into something tangibly morbid.
But rather than go into all the reasons it isn't, I've got to wonder ... why isn't it? Have I become so cynical I can't see the opportunities starting me in the face? If a million dollar opportunity came up and slapped me in the face like a penis in the throes of oral depravity would I even recognize it? I'm really beginning to wonder ...
But what to do to shake things up? How to break out of my comfort zone this far into it?
I mean I could look at the things I've had. I've found love ... four times. I've had amazing jobs, amazing friends, amazing apartments. I've also had a shit ton of disappointments and made a ton of mistakes.
I wonder, though, if anyone else besides me ever feels like they've burned through life too fast. I mean, I've lived A LOT of life. Probably twenty years' worth in a decade's time. Sometimes I fear that means I'll spend the next decade just coasting through.
So I want to do something extreme ...
You can ride high atop your pony I know you won't fall ... 'cause the whole thing's phony.
You can fly swinging from your trapeze scaring all the people ... but you'll never scare me.
My point is, the film, which is rather hope-inspiring as any good romantic comedy is, made me remember how optimistic and starstruck I was ten years ago. This was before my heart was majorly broken; before one disappointment after another made me jaded; before I became a cynic.
At twenty-one I was so sure I was going to take the world by the balls and show it who was boss. I was positive I'd find true love, and life would be hunky dory by the time I turned thirty. Well I turn thirty-two in two months, and I am here to say life isn't hunky dory. My optimism has taken a dark and twisty turn into something tangibly morbid.
But rather than go into all the reasons it isn't, I've got to wonder ... why isn't it? Have I become so cynical I can't see the opportunities starting me in the face? If a million dollar opportunity came up and slapped me in the face like a penis in the throes of oral depravity would I even recognize it? I'm really beginning to wonder ...
But what to do to shake things up? How to break out of my comfort zone this far into it?
I mean I could look at the things I've had. I've found love ... four times. I've had amazing jobs, amazing friends, amazing apartments. I've also had a shit ton of disappointments and made a ton of mistakes.
I wonder, though, if anyone else besides me ever feels like they've burned through life too fast. I mean, I've lived A LOT of life. Probably twenty years' worth in a decade's time. Sometimes I fear that means I'll spend the next decade just coasting through.
So I want to do something extreme ...
You can ride high atop your pony I know you won't fall ... 'cause the whole thing's phony.
You can fly swinging from your trapeze scaring all the people ... but you'll never scare me.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
So You Think You're Normal?
Out of random boredom today I decided to browse some personal ads on singles sites. I'll be honest sometimes I do this just for a laugh if I'm surfing and want to kill some time. I went to several diverse sites: gay.com, yahoo.com, interracialsingles.net, christianmingle.com, and even eharmony.com. Out of all the profiles I looked at, be they posted by men, women, gay, straight, bisexual, people of color or ethnicity, handicap even, one word stood out: normal.
What I can't figure out is why anyone would want to date anyone normal or even describe himself or herself as normal? The dictionary defines normal as conforming to the standard or the common type; usual, not abnormal, regular and serving to establish a standard. Given the defintions of normal mentioned, I should just rest my case. But I'm going to put my size 9.5 in my mouth and keep going.
Why would anyone want to date someone who can be defined as "regular, usual, or conforming to the standard of the common type?" All that means is that when you go out on dates you're guaranteed a one-way trip to dullsville or snoozetown. Better hope they make a good vodka martini at the restaraunt you're eating at. That way when you're date is going on and on about how normal he or she is and how your parents are going to love him/her, you can look at them your glazed over eyes and they will mistake the mental daggers you're stabbing them with for complete adoration. A night at home watching McSteamy do McDreamy would be more fun than that (clearly that's the version of Grey's Anatomy that plays in my head, and we've all seen the "enter at your own risk" signs placed around my mind).
Dramatic comparison perhaps, but you get the point I hope.
Me, I prefer to date the freaks. The freaks will ensure that you are going to have a hell of a good time on your date and might even show you some things you've never seen before (get your minds out of the gutters pervs, unless of course you live there, I didn't mean it like that). The dates with the freaks are the ones that are going to stand out in your mind and make you smile when you think about them. Obviously, I'm not talking about the "individuals" who turn out to be stalkers, criminals, bad kissers, lousy lays, unwashed miscreants, and those who are generally of a bad element.
Why do we ruin perfectly fun words like "freak" or "deviant"? To deviate is not a bad thing. Everyonen deviates. A drunken or otherwise laptop computer-occupied airplane pilot might deviate from a planned flight path. The Senate or House might deviate from legislation to serve political ambition. Organized religion, in all its many forms, can be considered deviation from its earliest roots. A school teacher may deviate from a lesson plan that is out of date but still part of the cirriculum.
My point is deviants are not necessarily immoral and should not be judged so just because they are deviant; on the flipside, immorals are not always deviants stop ruining all the fun words. It wasn't that long ago GLBT individuals were thought of deviants and immoral (not really interchangeable terms, sorry). The immoral slogan comes from religious persecution of gays, so I'm not even going to go there because this entry will take days to complete. Gays were considered deviant because our way of life did not fit 'societal norms.' In some circles we are still considered deviants (P.S. Rick, Rush, really it won't be too much longer we just have coughed on you enough yet ... how do you think we got Larry Craig? ... Ok so my sense of humor is a bit whack, like crack - hail Whitney!, deal with it).
Oh, and back to this normal crap ... everyone has a personal definition of "normal." Everyone who places a personal ad and uses the world normal wants something different, they just don't know how to say what they want or are too afraid to say what they want. A suburban housewife, a wall street exec, a high school or college student, a millionaire, a celebrity, an artist, a politician or religious leader all have varying definitions of normal ... so I think we should have a big "Normal Party" where everyone gets together and brings their Normal. I think it would be a very deviant affair.
What I can't figure out is why anyone would want to date anyone normal or even describe himself or herself as normal? The dictionary defines normal as conforming to the standard or the common type; usual, not abnormal, regular and serving to establish a standard. Given the defintions of normal mentioned, I should just rest my case. But I'm going to put my size 9.5 in my mouth and keep going.
Why would anyone want to date someone who can be defined as "regular, usual, or conforming to the standard of the common type?" All that means is that when you go out on dates you're guaranteed a one-way trip to dullsville or snoozetown. Better hope they make a good vodka martini at the restaraunt you're eating at. That way when you're date is going on and on about how normal he or she is and how your parents are going to love him/her, you can look at them your glazed over eyes and they will mistake the mental daggers you're stabbing them with for complete adoration. A night at home watching McSteamy do McDreamy would be more fun than that (clearly that's the version of Grey's Anatomy that plays in my head, and we've all seen the "enter at your own risk" signs placed around my mind).
Dramatic comparison perhaps, but you get the point I hope.
Me, I prefer to date the freaks. The freaks will ensure that you are going to have a hell of a good time on your date and might even show you some things you've never seen before (get your minds out of the gutters pervs, unless of course you live there, I didn't mean it like that). The dates with the freaks are the ones that are going to stand out in your mind and make you smile when you think about them. Obviously, I'm not talking about the "individuals" who turn out to be stalkers, criminals, bad kissers, lousy lays, unwashed miscreants, and those who are generally of a bad element.
Why do we ruin perfectly fun words like "freak" or "deviant"? To deviate is not a bad thing. Everyonen deviates. A drunken or otherwise laptop computer-occupied airplane pilot might deviate from a planned flight path. The Senate or House might deviate from legislation to serve political ambition. Organized religion, in all its many forms, can be considered deviation from its earliest roots. A school teacher may deviate from a lesson plan that is out of date but still part of the cirriculum.
My point is deviants are not necessarily immoral and should not be judged so just because they are deviant; on the flipside, immorals are not always deviants stop ruining all the fun words. It wasn't that long ago GLBT individuals were thought of deviants and immoral (not really interchangeable terms, sorry). The immoral slogan comes from religious persecution of gays, so I'm not even going to go there because this entry will take days to complete. Gays were considered deviant because our way of life did not fit 'societal norms.' In some circles we are still considered deviants (P.S. Rick, Rush, really it won't be too much longer we just have coughed on you enough yet ... how do you think we got Larry Craig? ... Ok so my sense of humor is a bit whack, like crack - hail Whitney!, deal with it).
Oh, and back to this normal crap ... everyone has a personal definition of "normal." Everyone who places a personal ad and uses the world normal wants something different, they just don't know how to say what they want or are too afraid to say what they want. A suburban housewife, a wall street exec, a high school or college student, a millionaire, a celebrity, an artist, a politician or religious leader all have varying definitions of normal ... so I think we should have a big "Normal Party" where everyone gets together and brings their Normal. I think it would be a very deviant affair.
Falling In Love ... Is Hard on Reality!
So tonight I’ve been thinking about soul mates. I’ve always considered this concept rather elusive and extremely unattainable. In fact, every time I end a relationship (where I even had a glimmer of hope that person had been ‘the one’) I want to strangle the idiot who decided the word mate sounded pretty after the word soul. He’s probably descended from the same moron who popularized Valentine’s Day.
Now before you all start chasing me through the village with burning sticks like I’m some sort of nasty wildebeest, hear me out.
Relationships are hard, and not for the faint of heart. Most of them should come with a warning label. Something that reads like: Warning, relationship may prove hazardous to your health. Sure everyone falls in love, and everyone has to go through those rocky relationships, but most of us come out of them with emotional scars that would frighten small children if they were corporeal.
The first mistake I think a lot (not all, calm down people) of people make is entering into a romantic relationship so they feel complete. I’m sorry, but if you’re dating to feel complete you’ll never be complete. I firmly believe you have to learn to be happy with yourself and feel healthy emotionally as a single person before you can make someone else happy. If you can’t, not only are you going to fail at satisfying your mate long term, you’ll feel like your mate is unable to meet your needs.
Expectation is a word that also comes to mind. What are our expectations when we fall in love with someone or simply date someone? Are those expectations so high the person we’re with can’t possibly meet them? If this is you then you might find yourself alone when you’re ready to not be alone anymore. If the person you’re seeing can’t possibly make you happy because you’re never satisfied then you need to take a step back to square one and reexamine your wants and needs before you do any real harm to this poor soul trying to please you.
On the flipside of impossibly high expectations, many of us lower the bar so much we allow anyone and everyone (at least the ones who say they love us or are interested in us) to walk all over us in the name of what we think is love. He or she might always use you for money or want you to always coddle them. You might feel pressured to go out of our way to do things for them only they themselves should be doing. Three months in and your friends are refusing to spend time with you because all you do is talk about your boyfriend/girlfriend whom you allow to treat you like a doormat. These are all signs you should hop the next train back to singledom.
P.S., once you make it back to singledom and spend the appropriate amount of time deciphering what went wrong and whose fault it really was (look really hard in the mirror when you do this, you need the wake up call), enjoy being single and getting to know your single self (I love the term single self, I must give credit to Sex and the City for that term).
Back to soul mates, though, or the concept there of … if we didn’t place such a value on this, then relationships might be a bit (just a bit) easier to navigate. One would need only a small flotation device rather than the flotation device, a life jacket, and scuba gear to come out of it alive. It’s entirely preposterous to think there’s only one person in the universe that just sends shivers up and down your spine like no other, that one individual you can see yourself waking up with every day for the rest of your life. Snooze, boring, nope … I don’t think so. Before you balk and call me the Antilove, examine your life by decades (depending on how old you are) and examine the relationships you had. In your twenties you had different expectations than you do as you enter your thirties. I’m sure once I reach my forties in nine years my expectations will be different. Even as a teenager when you began your dating life you had a different set of rules. The guy or girl you fell in love with at the age of eighteen (OMG you just knew they were THE ONE!!!!) would send most of you screaming in the opposite direction now.
Our personal, intellectual, philosophical, and even financial growths affect our choice of mates as we age. As a rule we to gravitate around people we perceive as peers. With some exceptions, I believe these factors play a key role in how we pick romantic partners as well as friends. Clearly this is not a rule set in stone, however, a thirty year old woman who has never learned to manage her finances and is in debt is going to have little in common with a person her own age who is financially secure, manages money well, and has clear-cut financial goals. Money isn’t just the only factor; intellect and philosophy play huge roles. We have to be able to connect with our mates intellectually. If you just lovediscussing the meaning of life and the writings of ancient philosophers you’re going to find the girl who loves fashion and Lady Gaga a bit too fluff; likewise she is going to think you’re one supremely dull cardigan sweater with a large stick up your ass that needs to be removed.
This point leads me to my next point: rigidity. Some of us are so rigid that we refuse to compromise. Sure, some things should never be compromised, like our principles and morality. Some people perplex me, though, when it comes to choosing mates. Why should a concept like religion matter when choosing a mate? Why should financial class stand in the way? After all, the guy with loads of money might be the most financially irresponsible person in the world. Some people are so turned off by others’ personal habits – smoking for instance – they could never imagine or even allow themselves to consider the possibility and therefore potentially miss out on something great.
Wrapping it up, though, no matter how fabulous your love life is, no matter how much your mate sends you spinning into oblivion (and I love that feeling!) you can’t classify that person as your soul mate because you don’t know what condition your soul will be in ten years from now or even five years from now. Here’s another way of thinking about it: let’s say you considered the lover you had at age twenty-two to be your soul mate. They knew you inside and out and it took years to get over them when it ended. At thirty you end up with someone you love very much, who reciprocates that love, but you don’t feel the same magnetic pull you did at twenty-two. Does that make your current relationship less than the other because you don’t consider your current love a soul mate? Why cast a dark pall over a relationship that is more mature, more balanced, and hot because it doesn’t give you as much dramatic intensity?
Unless, of course, you’re a person who craves that drama in each relationship … you know you’re out there. You would be called a drama queen. I’ve been guilty of this myself. You feed off the drama and it adds to the fire. You’re typically not satisfied if everything is going well. You also need to jump overboard and swim back to the shore of your single life.
A Really Fucking Angry Rant
Published on MySpace on May 12, 2010
Okay so I need to vent ... and I'll probably piss more than a few people who read this off, I mean ... shit why am I giving anyone a pre-apology. My rant is what it is. Some of you will agree with me, some of you won't, but I don't really give a flying fuck. These are my feelings right now.
Okay so I need to vent ... and I'll probably piss more than a few people who read this off, I mean ... shit why am I giving anyone a pre-apology. My rant is what it is. Some of you will agree with me, some of you won't, but I don't really give a flying fuck. These are my feelings right now.
I understand that coming out of the closet is different for each and every person who has to go through it. Some of us have difficult family situations due to religious or political affiliations. Sometimes a person's career might be jeopardized if too many (or the wrong people) discover one's true orientation, depending on the community in which he or she lives. Blah blah blah so here goes ...
1. Married Men ... to all married men who are fucking around on their wives with other men in secret ... I hope your wives find out and roast your balls over an open flame while you sleep. Seriously!!!! This is 2010. I understand that many of you perhaps did not realize you were gay (or bi) when you got married; perhaps you figured out later and felt it was too late to come out for whatever reason (perhaps you had children and feared the repercussions of the divorce). Maybe you got married because of whatever social/family pressure. My point is ... you made your bed you need to lay in it (with your wife only) or get a f-u-c-k-i-n-g divorce!!! Those of you messing around in bathroom stalls, adult bookstore glory hole backrooms, hooking up with twenty something twinks on the internet are just asking for trouble.
How are you going to explain it to your wife when she comes home one day and wants to know why she tested positive for an STD (that you gave her!!)? OH, I'm sorry honey, I tripped on a dildo and my dick fell into some hot gay man's ass, please forgive me!!! I need help, help me find Jesus.
Ugh, isnt' that the worst? When Jesus is used an excuse for needing forgiveness?
If you are gay (or bi) and married, and you are feeling the need to explore sex with a man ... tell your wife!!! Hell it's 2010, you've got a 50/50 shot she'll be down for watching and/or participating!!!! I mean, the same percentage of women would have been down for it twenty years ago they just wouldn't have spoken up. Odds are your wife is sexually bored with you and a little (HONEST) open variety wouldn't hurt.
Also, think about what you are doing to the gay community. Sure there are a thousand indiscriminate gay men out there who will fuck you (this only proves that all men - regardless of orientation - are truly created equal ... with an equal ability to be a douchecock), but what about those of us who have been unknowingly placed in that position? Personally I would be furious if I hooked up with a man who later told me he was married.
I have, in fact, been placed in that situation. It's awkward, uncomfortable, and raises an army of issues.
If you can't be honest with your wife (and unless you have some weirdly twisted, extreme circumstance - and let's be honest 99% of you do not) then just keep living your lie ... we don't need you.
2. Men who refuse to come out and ... have no reason not to!!! I ran into this situation recently and I'd like to comment on it. I chatted with a guy who was 34, a photographer, recently moved here (Minneapolis, very gay friendly) from New York City (!!! of all places !!!) and gay. He wanted to get together; I was excited because as an aspiring writer I felt hanging out with someone in an artistic field could only be beneficial. Plus, he was super hot. Then he told me wasn't out and it was very important his roommate could not find out he was gay.
WTF?!?! A 34 year old gay man who is a professional photographer, who has lived in New York City, isn't out?!?! REALLY??? First of all if you aren't out why the fuck is your picture plastered on your chat site profile? Hmm? I'm just saying ... and why not be open about who you are?
Now I need to clarify ... I do not think that when a person comes they need to shout from the rooftops ... because really, not that many people really give a shit about your sexual orientation. I mean, why would someone in their thirties care what their "roommate" (and I use that word with quotations because the roommate was probably a boyfriend who didn't know he was fucking around) thinks about their orientation? And as far as family goes ... someone in their thirties also should not give a damn if their family is opposed to their sexual orientation.
You are who you are. Your family (if they really love you) will come around.
******************** Disclaimer ***********************
Sometimes I think I am overly harsh on guys who can't ... won't ... come out to their friends and families. As previously stated, coming out doesn't mean you need to stand on the tallest building in town in your pink tutu while twirling around to a Madonna classic with a dick in your mouth. However, if you can't be honest with your family and friends about something as basic as sexual orientation ... then what the hell can you be honest about?
My own family was a mixed bag of reactions. I had a very liberal upbringing, unencumbered by organized religion so it didn't take too much soul searching to accept my sexuality. Sure, I'd heard the random gay comment here and there, but once I came out to my best friend and maternal grandmother, it became easier. Sure there were negative reactions ... my biological father's family is made up of mostly Southern Baptists, so with very few exceptions, the news wasn't well-received. Still, I have always held true to the belief that I would never let anyone's opinion of me (including my family's) define who I am.
*****************************************************
Okay now that I am off my soapbox ... let's get back to business ...
3. Politicians ... fuck I don't even know how to begin with this. This angers me so much I see red. Let me start off by naming a few names ... Larry Craig ... Roy Cohn ... Jim McGreevy ... Mark Foley ... Ted Haggard ... and I'll even say George Rekers. Nothing sickens me more when it comes to gay rights when I learn about a politician who is secretly gay (or perhaps at least bi) fighting against gay rights. How the fuck do you sleep at night? I hope gay midget pirates butt rape you all in your dreams. And for those of you who still claim to be straight after the media busts you with your gay prostitutes ... you don't deserve to be gay. We don't want you. In fact we will place you on our top twenty list of "Please Keep Your Dirty Ass In The Closet Forever" list. You are more dangerous to the progression of gay rights than any right-wing bible-thumping crazy ever could be.
And now to swing (ha ha, I said SWING) in a different direction ...
4. Right-Wing, bible-thumping holy rollers who think you are so righteous ... you need to get a fucking life and jump off the anti-gay bandwagon. First of all you're only reinforcing the belief (one that I hold very dear, by the way) that organized religion (not faith or belief in God or in a higher power) is nothing but a dangerous joke.
Before I continue, let me ask you something? How many wars, including ones being fought in the world right now, are religion-based? Don't hold your heads up high, Christians, remember your history lessons? The Crusades were the bloodiest wars in the history of man, and killed more people than any war on the planet before or since. The wars in the Middle East ... dealing in large part with a variance in religious beliefs ... if organized religion wasn't so prevalent would these wars exist? So I'm going to ask? Why the fuck does anyone care what the bible - seriously it's only a booksupposedly based off of the word of a deity not even proven to exit. I'm not saying I don't believe in a higher power. What I'm saying is, it's not wrong to question. The bible contradicts itself a thousand times over, especially when you combine the Old and New Testaments. So why do you take it at face value?
Because some slick-ass, money-hungry, corrupt pastor/preacher/minister/PRIEST tells you it's the word of "God?" Lame! Seriously! Lame, and when you're out fucking around with your neighbor or whatever other sin you are committing, why don't you go lay down with another individual of the same sex and have a gay ole time!
Okay so ... I don't want to give the impression I'm some angry ass, tree-hugging gay rights activist who is always pissed off. However, with all the coverage on gay marriage, DADT, DOMA, and various other gay rights issues of late I feel inclined to speak out about what pisses me the fuck off. All I'm saying is ... you don't see gay people out there protesting and bitching to take rights away from heterosexuals... so back off motherfuckers!
I'm just saying ....
Mirrors
Published May 2, 2010 on MySpace
Mirrors are a bitch, folks, bloody life-force sucking, scrutinizing whores! That's right, I'm coming out swinging, guns blazing and ready to shoot to kill. I'm not sure where this surge of aggression comes from, but I'm definitely feeding on it today.
Mirrors are a bitch, folks, bloody life-force sucking, scrutinizing whores! That's right, I'm coming out swinging, guns blazing and ready to shoot to kill. I'm not sure where this surge of aggression comes from, but I'm definitely feeding on it today.
Mirrors come in all shapes and sizes.
First there's the reflective glass surface with a metallic backing and hopefully pretty frame. This mirror allows you to see yourself. This week this particular type of mirror is screaming a message I should have heard two months ago: "Mike, you're getting chubby ... AGAIN!" Actually, it's not even a chubby-getting judgmental frosty glare staring back at me at this point; it's a full-blown Goddamn kid, you're fat again beam of reflecty eyeballs taunting me with what I used to look like.
It's true, sadly. Before I left Sioux Falls I was actually eating pretty well ... weight was slowly starting to fall off again. Then I came back to Minneapolis and having to eat cheaply (really cheaply for now), it's all frozen pizzas and other forms of carbohydraty goodness ... chicken fingers, waffle fries, pizza rolls, frozen pizzas, potato chips, excessive amounts of pasta (fuck you Rainbow Foods with your pastas 10 for $10!)
Of course I can only blame myself. Eating healthier, even though more expensive, is not impossible. Rather than fresh fruit, there's fresh fruit that has been sliced and frozen in bags. Same with veggies. Lame, huh, chalk that up to laziness! I mean, who the fuck has time to thaw it out before eating it when you can pop a delicious pizza topped with delectable goodness in the oven for seventeen minutes and trade fifteen minutes of gluttonous gratification for some love handles?
Some of you may be thinking that I'm talking crazy (and if you actually know me, then you know a little crazy is par for my course). Yes, it's only weight, it comes off semi-easily. Who doesn't enjoy a little bulimia once in a while? Bucket for two anyone? For me it's part of a larger problem ... setting a goal and being uber-lousy with the follow though.
And then there's another kind of mirror ... this type of mirror can sometimes be the worst of all when you're not willing to really look at yourself. This type of mirror talks back, tells you things you need to hear even when you wish they'd shut the fuck up and smile and nod with you. The smiley-noddy mirrors, though ... not the best people to have around all the time. They're like the false security blanket providing you with a sense of optimism when they should be throwing a cold glass of Wake-The-Fuck-Up-Bitch in your face.
Also, I have to retract the 'bitchy, cunty, bad words' reference I made to mirrors a few minutes ago ... well, only when it comes to the animated mirrors. The reflective surface ones can suck my balls (figuratively speaking of course, I can't imagine glass feels good on one's testicles). No, the animated mirror is one you love but has the capability to infuriate the fuck out of you so dramatically that you feel you might implode, and then surprises you with chocolaty goodness and fun movies the very next minute.
Passion is another word to associate with the animated mirror. The animated mirror, if they really care for you, won't take your shit. When you push they shove back ten times harder.
Anyway, sometimes a guy needs a few different mirrors to see himself clearly.
Burnin' Down Their Closets
Published on MySpace on March 29, 2010
In the past month, Will and Grace star Sean Hayes (love him!!!) and Ricky Martin have each appeared on the cover of The Advocate, publicly coming out to the world.
First of all, let me say these stories did not belong on the cover of The Advocate; aren't they supposed to be reporting actual news important to the gay community? These two comings out belonged on the cover of Duh! and Duh'rer, rather than a news mag. Don't get me wrong, Sean Hayes is a gifted actor and I've loved most everything I've seen him in and Ricky Martin contributed a lot to pop music in the late '90s/early 2000s. Let me ask you this question, though? Did either of these coming out stories shock you? I mean, are these any more shocking that when Elton John and Lance Bass came out? We all already assumed and didn't really care that much.
As a gay man I know that coming out is an important step in self-acceptance ... to a point. I came out to my friends and family, the people who mattered most in my life. Had I walked into a crowded restaurant and shouted "I'm gay!" I'm pretty sure everyone would have said something along the lines of "Sit down we don't give a fuck!" And why should they?
Obviously, celebrity carries a lot more weight especially here in America. But when I think about celeb comings-out, I just don't think it matters that much anymore. When Wanda Sykes publicly came out in 2008 (she had been out for years to friends and family, and was even married to a woman) it was only in protest of Prop 8. When Adam Lambert and Neil Patrick Harris came out (again, they were never really in they just weren't public about it), they already had successful careers and were working so it didn't really do much to or for their statuses.
I can remember when Ellen DeGeneres came out in 1997 on her sitcom it was a big deal. It was equally huge when singer/songwriter Melissa Etheridge came out in 1993 and when Comedian Margaret Cho came out as bisexual in the early 90s. Celebrities coming out in the 1990s carried much more clout than they do today, mostly due to the difference in political climate in the 1990s. Pop culture has been so deluged with everything gay that it's not a big deal.
Coming out to the world didn't really do much for Rosie O'Donnell, Lance Bass, Elton John, or Clay Aiken, and I suspect it will be the same for Sean Hayes and Ricky Martin. Announcing their homosexuality to the world won't revive their careers.
Every celebrity I've mentioned was already out to their friends, family, and everyone involved in their personal lives. I think that if celebrities want to come out publicly, that's fine, that's their choice but they should not expect it to boost their fame. We need political clout, we need celebrities who are out to use their fame to actually fight for our civil rights, not magazine covers. I wouldn't mind reading a story on Sean Hayes, where he admits he's a homosexual, as long as that were not the main point of the article. If one of these guys were being interviewed for their work in helping underprivileged or abused gay teens, then I would not mind a "Oh yeah, me and my boyfriend do this" side blurb.
Just sayin' ...
A Disgusting Situation
Taken from my MySpace blog, published March 26, 2010
I have been contemplating the article I recently read on the Kare 11 website about a Minneapolis man who knowingly spread HIV to a few other man. The man's name is available on the website, I am not going to be so callous as to parade it around on my blog, but the article is disturbing.
I have been contemplating the article I recently read on the Kare 11 website about a Minneapolis man who knowingly spread HIV to a few other man. The man's name is available on the website, I am not going to be so callous as to parade it around on my blog, but the article is disturbing.
From all accounts the man found out he was HIV positive in 2006. Now clearly he know he's supposed to disclose his HIV status before having sex with anyone. In fact, in Minnesota it's a crime to knowingly transmit HIV to someone without telling them you're positive.
Kare 11 spoke with one of the victims. He and his boyfriend met the "man in question" online and invited him over for sex.
Now, I'm not saying what this man has done is okay. Knowingly spreading HIV is heinous and I personally think the appropriate punishment is castration.
Another article I found showed more of the phone interview with tone of the victims. He and his boyfriend met the spreader online last October. The spreader apparently maintains he informed them of his HIV status, but the victim adamantly repudiates that assertion. I do have to wonder, because I cannot find anything in my research, if the victim and his boyfriend made the spreader use a condom? This will sound harsh, and I'm not saying anyone deserves HIV because no one does, but if the victim let the spreader fuck him without a condom he has no right to cry foul. Letting someone fuck you without protection is like playing like a loaded gun.
Of course since none of the articles I can find specify whether or not a condom was used, I can only speculate and that isn't a fair way to form an opinion about this particular victim and his situation.
The whole story makes me think about gay men and sexually transmitted diseases as a whole. The AIDS stigma of the 80s made us all more sexually conscious in the 90s and early 2000s, but the CDC has reported for the last few years that HIV and STD infection rates are on the rise again among gay men. Apparently everyone thinks it's okay to bareback with every Tom, Dick and Harry (pun intended) again.
Now, I can't imagine how horrible it must be to have a doctor diagnose you with HIV. But to go around spreading it on purpose - there has to be something seriously fucked up with your morality switch to begin with to think that's okay.
Just my opinion.
Fuck It!
Published on MySpace, March 21, 2010
Continuing in the spirit of my previous post a few minutes ago, I am going to further my rant.
However, I'm done ranting about health care and the possible abortion plug. Why is it Americans are so against change? Why do we rally around sticks in the mud or the ostrich who buries his head in the sand?
Let me be clear: I am but a lowly citizen who can see our system is not working. Yes, I can see both sides of the coin. I do not want a government official who has never met me telling me WHAT policy I need. Yet, there are so many Americans (many of whom are young) who are sticken with illness they did not ask for nor did nothing to cause they just happened to be genetically unlucky. What of them? Is it fair they spend the rest of their lives paying medical bills just to live ... err.. I mean exist?
It's not perfect. Nothing will ever be perfect. I have to wonder, does our democracy even lend itself to public health care? In a society where capitalism abounds and the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, can a public-run health care option even work?
Okay so I lied; I was not done bitching about health care. It's funny to me when I look at a country like Japan. They have public health care.
Japan has the longest healthy life expectancy on Earth and spends half (in percent of GDP) as much on health care as the United States. Japan has universal health care system. Everyone in Japan is required to get a health insurance policy, either at work or through a community-based insurer. The government picks up the tab for those who are too poor. It's a model of social insurance that is used in many wealthy countries. But it's definitely not "socialized medicine."
Eighty percent of Japan's hospitals are privately owned — more than in the United States — and almost every doctor's office is a private business. The Japanese go to the doctor about three times as often as Americans. Because there are no gatekeepers, they can see any specialist they want. Japanese patients also stay in the hospital much longer than Americans, on average. They love technology such as magnetic resonance imaging (MRI); they have nearly twice as many scans per capita as Americans do. The Japanese Health Ministry tightly controls the price of health care down to the smallest detail. Every two years, the health care industry and the health ministry negotiate a fixed price for every procedure and every drug. That helps keep premiums to around $280 a month for the average Japanese family, and Japan's employers pick up at least half of that.
If you lose your job, you keep your health insurance.
Japanese insurers are a lot more accommodating than their American counterparts. For one thing, they can't deny a claim. And they have to cover everybody. Even an applicant with heart disease can't be turned down, that is forbidden. Nor do health care plans covering basic health care for workers and their families make a profit. Anything left over is carried over to the next year. If the carryover was big, then the premium rate would go down. No one in Japan goes broke because of medical expenses. Personal bankruptcy due to medical expenses is unheard of in Japan.
I am so sick of people who are unfraid of change crying socialism in this country. Look up the fucking definition of socialism, and I guarantee 85% of you who accuse Obama and the Dems of socialism will recant your rants.
It's disgusting to me that we, as Americans, fight each other tooth and nail over something as universal as health care. Why aren't we fighting corrupt politics? Why aren't we working together to clean up our environment and our energy policies? Why aren't we working together to end the two wars we're fighting or to end hunger and disease in our country?
Clearly I am not someone who has any place to bitch at anyone else. I'm not out there protesting. I'm not working with environmental groups or feeding soup to the homeless. I am an American with an open mind. And that mind is open enough to recognize the flaws not only in my own political party but the the system as a whole ... to recognize that as fabulous as our democracy may be, it is so far from perfect.
Continuing in the spirit of my previous post a few minutes ago, I am going to further my rant.
However, I'm done ranting about health care and the possible abortion plug. Why is it Americans are so against change? Why do we rally around sticks in the mud or the ostrich who buries his head in the sand?
Let me be clear: I am but a lowly citizen who can see our system is not working. Yes, I can see both sides of the coin. I do not want a government official who has never met me telling me WHAT policy I need. Yet, there are so many Americans (many of whom are young) who are sticken with illness they did not ask for nor did nothing to cause they just happened to be genetically unlucky. What of them? Is it fair they spend the rest of their lives paying medical bills just to live ... err.. I mean exist?
It's not perfect. Nothing will ever be perfect. I have to wonder, does our democracy even lend itself to public health care? In a society where capitalism abounds and the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, can a public-run health care option even work?
Okay so I lied; I was not done bitching about health care. It's funny to me when I look at a country like Japan. They have public health care.
Japan has the longest healthy life expectancy on Earth and spends half (in percent of GDP) as much on health care as the United States. Japan has universal health care system. Everyone in Japan is required to get a health insurance policy, either at work or through a community-based insurer. The government picks up the tab for those who are too poor. It's a model of social insurance that is used in many wealthy countries. But it's definitely not "socialized medicine."
Eighty percent of Japan's hospitals are privately owned — more than in the United States — and almost every doctor's office is a private business. The Japanese go to the doctor about three times as often as Americans. Because there are no gatekeepers, they can see any specialist they want. Japanese patients also stay in the hospital much longer than Americans, on average. They love technology such as magnetic resonance imaging (MRI); they have nearly twice as many scans per capita as Americans do. The Japanese Health Ministry tightly controls the price of health care down to the smallest detail. Every two years, the health care industry and the health ministry negotiate a fixed price for every procedure and every drug. That helps keep premiums to around $280 a month for the average Japanese family, and Japan's employers pick up at least half of that.
If you lose your job, you keep your health insurance.
Japanese insurers are a lot more accommodating than their American counterparts. For one thing, they can't deny a claim. And they have to cover everybody. Even an applicant with heart disease can't be turned down, that is forbidden. Nor do health care plans covering basic health care for workers and their families make a profit. Anything left over is carried over to the next year. If the carryover was big, then the premium rate would go down. No one in Japan goes broke because of medical expenses. Personal bankruptcy due to medical expenses is unheard of in Japan.
I am so sick of people who are unfraid of change crying socialism in this country. Look up the fucking definition of socialism, and I guarantee 85% of you who accuse Obama and the Dems of socialism will recant your rants.
It's disgusting to me that we, as Americans, fight each other tooth and nail over something as universal as health care. Why aren't we fighting corrupt politics? Why aren't we working together to clean up our environment and our energy policies? Why aren't we working together to end the two wars we're fighting or to end hunger and disease in our country?
Clearly I am not someone who has any place to bitch at anyone else. I'm not out there protesting. I'm not working with environmental groups or feeding soup to the homeless. I am an American with an open mind. And that mind is open enough to recognize the flaws not only in my own political party but the the system as a whole ... to recognize that as fabulous as our democracy may be, it is so far from perfect.
Really, Really?
Published on MySpace on March 21, 2010
So here we are on the eve of yet another historic vote on health care. For decades politicans have come and gone, trying to fix our health care system. And for decades they have failed. Politicians on both sides of the aisle are playing politics-as-usual, allowing their own personal interests to get in the way.
I, for one, am really sick of it. Composing this letter makes me even angrier because it forces me to examine the shortcomings of the political party I support and the obstructionist actions of the Republican party.
Before I get to my point I am going to veer off to the left (as if I'd ever veer off to the right) and vent about what I view as the Democrats' single-minded blindspot. Most Americans, political affiliations aside, will agree the health care industry needs reform. There are too many Americans with little to no coverage and too many insurance companies more than willing to take us for a ride around the carousel. Personally, I do not think that health care reform should be the Obama Administration/Congressional Democrats' top priority right now.
Our first priority? Fixing the staggering unemployment in this country ... finding good jobs for people who are unemployed or laid off , who are struggling. Health care is all fine and good ... jobs are better. Get us jobs and THEN get us health care.
Back to health care ... I have been cramming in news articles tonight from cnn.com, msnbc.com and foxnews.com (typically I substitute another vowel in for the 'o' in foxnews, I'll let your imaginations run wild) and it angers me that the vote to pass health care (which would allow these single-minded politicans to move on to more constructive matters like jobs, the economy, and clean energy) could hinge on something as inconsequential as abortion issues.
President Obama has made it clear he supports a ban on public funding of abortions, except in cases of rape, incest, or when a pregnancy endangers a woman's life. To me, this seems like a no-brainer. Why should my tax dollars go to pay for a procedure to end an unwanted pregnancy because some woman can't keep her legs closed or use birth control and some guy can't wrap it up? It's not my responsibility to pay for someone else's sexual irresponsibility. If I screw up and get an STD because I'm sexually irresponsible I would never expect public tax dollars to pay for my treatment.
That being said, the behavior of some Republicans and public protestors outside the Capitol is inexcusable. Protestors hurled racial and homophobic epithets at black and gay lawmakers. Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-Mo.) was walking into the Capitol building to vote was spat on by a protestor. The protestor was detained by police but Cleaver did not press charges.
It's too bad. I would have pressed charges. We have the right to protest in this country, but it's individuals like the protestor who assaulted Cleaver (sorry, spitting on someone is assault) that give us all a bad name. Who the fuck did this person think he/she was? Hopefully some day he or she will need publically-funded health care; I hope at that time that person remembers spitting on a lawmaker. Karma is a bitch like that.
Something else struck me as stupid: all the signs and banners that said "Stop Obamacare" and "Born in the USA not the USSR." Really? Really? How is publically-funded health care not American? Oh wait, maybe it isn't? Maybe it's really the American way for the poor to middle class to suffer disease and near poverty while the rich get access to the best doctors. All these dipshit-dumbass-douchecock protestors who keep calling Obama a socialist need to actually look up the definition of socialism in the dictionary because they are really beginning to look like idiots.
As Americans we have this deluded idea that we are the best at everything, that our policies and procedures are better than everyone else's, and we look down at everyone else who has this idea about their own policies and procedures. Just because we are a democracy does not mean we are perfect. How many more years are we going to bury our heads in the sand while health care providers and insurance companies clean out our pockets?
I am not saying the Democrats' plan is perfect; it needs work. Rather than criticizing and playing politics-as-usual, why don't Republicans actually come up with a compromise? Rather than being a party of obstructionists, why not come up with a solution?
I could sit here and roll my eyes all night long at both sides, but I'd rather roll my eyes at our country as a whole. How many citizens globally laugh at us when stupid shit like abortion funding could be the wrench in health care?
So here we are on the eve of yet another historic vote on health care. For decades politicans have come and gone, trying to fix our health care system. And for decades they have failed. Politicians on both sides of the aisle are playing politics-as-usual, allowing their own personal interests to get in the way.
I, for one, am really sick of it. Composing this letter makes me even angrier because it forces me to examine the shortcomings of the political party I support and the obstructionist actions of the Republican party.
Before I get to my point I am going to veer off to the left (as if I'd ever veer off to the right) and vent about what I view as the Democrats' single-minded blindspot. Most Americans, political affiliations aside, will agree the health care industry needs reform. There are too many Americans with little to no coverage and too many insurance companies more than willing to take us for a ride around the carousel. Personally, I do not think that health care reform should be the Obama Administration/Congressional Democrats' top priority right now.
Our first priority? Fixing the staggering unemployment in this country ... finding good jobs for people who are unemployed or laid off , who are struggling. Health care is all fine and good ... jobs are better. Get us jobs and THEN get us health care.
Back to health care ... I have been cramming in news articles tonight from cnn.com, msnbc.com and foxnews.com (typically I substitute another vowel in for the 'o' in foxnews, I'll let your imaginations run wild) and it angers me that the vote to pass health care (which would allow these single-minded politicans to move on to more constructive matters like jobs, the economy, and clean energy) could hinge on something as inconsequential as abortion issues.
President Obama has made it clear he supports a ban on public funding of abortions, except in cases of rape, incest, or when a pregnancy endangers a woman's life. To me, this seems like a no-brainer. Why should my tax dollars go to pay for a procedure to end an unwanted pregnancy because some woman can't keep her legs closed or use birth control and some guy can't wrap it up? It's not my responsibility to pay for someone else's sexual irresponsibility. If I screw up and get an STD because I'm sexually irresponsible I would never expect public tax dollars to pay for my treatment.
That being said, the behavior of some Republicans and public protestors outside the Capitol is inexcusable. Protestors hurled racial and homophobic epithets at black and gay lawmakers. Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-Mo.) was walking into the Capitol building to vote was spat on by a protestor. The protestor was detained by police but Cleaver did not press charges.
It's too bad. I would have pressed charges. We have the right to protest in this country, but it's individuals like the protestor who assaulted Cleaver (sorry, spitting on someone is assault) that give us all a bad name. Who the fuck did this person think he/she was? Hopefully some day he or she will need publically-funded health care; I hope at that time that person remembers spitting on a lawmaker. Karma is a bitch like that.
Something else struck me as stupid: all the signs and banners that said "Stop Obamacare" and "Born in the USA not the USSR." Really? Really? How is publically-funded health care not American? Oh wait, maybe it isn't? Maybe it's really the American way for the poor to middle class to suffer disease and near poverty while the rich get access to the best doctors. All these dipshit-dumbass-douchecock protestors who keep calling Obama a socialist need to actually look up the definition of socialism in the dictionary because they are really beginning to look like idiots.
As Americans we have this deluded idea that we are the best at everything, that our policies and procedures are better than everyone else's, and we look down at everyone else who has this idea about their own policies and procedures. Just because we are a democracy does not mean we are perfect. How many more years are we going to bury our heads in the sand while health care providers and insurance companies clean out our pockets?
I am not saying the Democrats' plan is perfect; it needs work. Rather than criticizing and playing politics-as-usual, why don't Republicans actually come up with a compromise? Rather than being a party of obstructionists, why not come up with a solution?
I could sit here and roll my eyes all night long at both sides, but I'd rather roll my eyes at our country as a whole. How many citizens globally laugh at us when stupid shit like abortion funding could be the wrench in health care?
The Root Canal From Hell
Originally published on MySpace on March 16, 2010
..How's this for the fucking hilarious?
I was reading an article on MSN about a Massachusetts dentist (who now lives in Maryland) who used paper clips instead of stainless steel posts in root canals on patients. He's being indicted on charges of assault and battery, larceny, Medicare fraud (he billed Medicare for the stainless steel posts he was supposed to be using), and illegally prescribing drugs.
Alright, so this by itself is not funny ... but want to know what I laughed out loud at?
The ad at the top of the page was for toothpaste!!!! Now, if you're going to publish a story that will make people afraid of getting that much-needed root canal, shouldn't you maybe put up an ad that has nothing to do with oral health? I don't know ... just another thought from my warped mind to you all.
..How's this for the fucking hilarious?
I was reading an article on MSN about a Massachusetts dentist (who now lives in Maryland) who used paper clips instead of stainless steel posts in root canals on patients. He's being indicted on charges of assault and battery, larceny, Medicare fraud (he billed Medicare for the stainless steel posts he was supposed to be using), and illegally prescribing drugs.
Alright, so this by itself is not funny ... but want to know what I laughed out loud at?
The ad at the top of the page was for toothpaste!!!! Now, if you're going to publish a story that will make people afraid of getting that much-needed root canal, shouldn't you maybe put up an ad that has nothing to do with oral health? I don't know ... just another thought from my warped mind to you all.
Seriously Dems, Give It a Rest
Original Publishing Date: March 16, 2010 on MySpace
.So I've becoming very disenchanted with the Democrats as of late, and I have to say ... if they lose their majority by a landslide rather than a small margin in November it is their own fault.
It was pretty clear to everyone by the mid-term election of November 2006, when Democrats took back majority of Congress, Americans were pretty fed up with Republicans. Mostly they were fed up with George W. Bush/Dick Cheney and the Republicans' blind loyalty to a president who was serving his own interests rather than ours.
I knew in 2008 when the primaries began that no matter who claimed the Democratic ticket - Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton - that we would have a Democrat for our next president.
Now, before I begin complaining about a bunch of stuff that will probably bore you, I'm going to say this. Government does not function well when one party controls the whole thing. Bill Clinton, who balanced our budget and left his successor with a fiscal surplus, functioned better as a president when Republicans were in control of at least one house of Congress, it balanced things out. The first six years of George W. Bush's first years were awful because the Republicans controlled everything. The first 14 months of Barack Obama's presidency has been unsuccessful, I believe, because Democrats control the White House and both houses of Congress.
My point is there has to be a balance. The system of checks and balances, which is flawed at best, is completely useless when one party controls everything.
Now on to you Democrats. Yes, I realize I am bitching at my own political party. However, it pains me to see half my party banging their heads into the proverbial brick wall and the other half standing around with their heads up their complacent asses.
Let me break it down for you, and this goes for you too, Mr. President. Now is not the time for Health Care Reform. 2009 proved that to you. 2009 kicked your politically unaware asses. I'm not saying Health Care Reform isn't necessary. It's very necessary. It should not be your first priority. Make it a priority for 2011 or 2012 and make the Economy the #1 focus of 2010, like it should have been in 2009.
We all understand that the economic mess is not Obama's fault; it was handed to him and I hope someone is giving the poor man a shot of tequila every time someone even brings up the dreaded "E" word. What we are sick of is the blame game. We understand Bush/Cheney fucked us so hard with the splintered broom handle that anyone going in there had his/her work cut out for them. When you mess up, Mr. President/Democrats in Congress, we are sick of hearing "well we're just trying to clean up the mess Bush left us."
Trust me, we get it. But when you sit and play the blame game, you're no better than the Repubs you accuse (and rightly so in many cases, but not all) of being a Party of Obstructionists. If you make a mistake, we're okay with it, we really are. We realize none of you are perfect. What we want (from both parties) is for you to own up to your mistakes and say "hey, we messed up. We're sorry, we see our mistake and we're going to fix it." That's what we want.
Dems, if you would own up to your mistakes, realize that now is not the time for Health Care Reform, and focus on job creation we wouldn't be losing our faith in the party. I read a very interesting article a couple of weeks ago where President Obama wanted tax credits for homeowners who upgrade their doors, windows, CA/heating systems - in essence, make their homes 'greener.' I also agree with him that creation of green energy will be a big focus on job creation.
Why aren't we hearing more on that? Those of us who are unemployed or have gone a long time searching for a good job want to know that we're not going to be homeless or in financial ruin because our government can't create jobs. Stop spending money on Health Care Reform. Wait on it. The proposals clearly indicate the reforms wouldn't go into effect until 2014 anyway ... what good does that do us now?
Sarah Palin ... poor, delusioned, attention-seeking ... Sarah Palin did say one thing intelligent this year on a political stage that actually made sense. America is ready for another revolution. Well, a political one anyway.
.So I've becoming very disenchanted with the Democrats as of late, and I have to say ... if they lose their majority by a landslide rather than a small margin in November it is their own fault.
It was pretty clear to everyone by the mid-term election of November 2006, when Democrats took back majority of Congress, Americans were pretty fed up with Republicans. Mostly they were fed up with George W. Bush/Dick Cheney and the Republicans' blind loyalty to a president who was serving his own interests rather than ours.
I knew in 2008 when the primaries began that no matter who claimed the Democratic ticket - Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton - that we would have a Democrat for our next president.
Now, before I begin complaining about a bunch of stuff that will probably bore you, I'm going to say this. Government does not function well when one party controls the whole thing. Bill Clinton, who balanced our budget and left his successor with a fiscal surplus, functioned better as a president when Republicans were in control of at least one house of Congress, it balanced things out. The first six years of George W. Bush's first years were awful because the Republicans controlled everything. The first 14 months of Barack Obama's presidency has been unsuccessful, I believe, because Democrats control the White House and both houses of Congress.
My point is there has to be a balance. The system of checks and balances, which is flawed at best, is completely useless when one party controls everything.
Now on to you Democrats. Yes, I realize I am bitching at my own political party. However, it pains me to see half my party banging their heads into the proverbial brick wall and the other half standing around with their heads up their complacent asses.
Let me break it down for you, and this goes for you too, Mr. President. Now is not the time for Health Care Reform. 2009 proved that to you. 2009 kicked your politically unaware asses. I'm not saying Health Care Reform isn't necessary. It's very necessary. It should not be your first priority. Make it a priority for 2011 or 2012 and make the Economy the #1 focus of 2010, like it should have been in 2009.
We all understand that the economic mess is not Obama's fault; it was handed to him and I hope someone is giving the poor man a shot of tequila every time someone even brings up the dreaded "E" word. What we are sick of is the blame game. We understand Bush/Cheney fucked us so hard with the splintered broom handle that anyone going in there had his/her work cut out for them. When you mess up, Mr. President/Democrats in Congress, we are sick of hearing "well we're just trying to clean up the mess Bush left us."
Trust me, we get it. But when you sit and play the blame game, you're no better than the Repubs you accuse (and rightly so in many cases, but not all) of being a Party of Obstructionists. If you make a mistake, we're okay with it, we really are. We realize none of you are perfect. What we want (from both parties) is for you to own up to your mistakes and say "hey, we messed up. We're sorry, we see our mistake and we're going to fix it." That's what we want.
Dems, if you would own up to your mistakes, realize that now is not the time for Health Care Reform, and focus on job creation we wouldn't be losing our faith in the party. I read a very interesting article a couple of weeks ago where President Obama wanted tax credits for homeowners who upgrade their doors, windows, CA/heating systems - in essence, make their homes 'greener.' I also agree with him that creation of green energy will be a big focus on job creation.
Why aren't we hearing more on that? Those of us who are unemployed or have gone a long time searching for a good job want to know that we're not going to be homeless or in financial ruin because our government can't create jobs. Stop spending money on Health Care Reform. Wait on it. The proposals clearly indicate the reforms wouldn't go into effect until 2014 anyway ... what good does that do us now?
Sarah Palin ... poor, delusioned, attention-seeking ... Sarah Palin did say one thing intelligent this year on a political stage that actually made sense. America is ready for another revolution. Well, a political one anyway.
The Passage Of Time
This entry was originally posted on my MySpace account on March 3, 2010
.Tonight I took to looking at a photo album of myself and some friends from way back ... the photos ranged from 1996 to 2004. What struck me while looking at all these pictures was the passage of time.
I guess it makes me think about getting older and reflecting on the choices I've made in life.
It also makes me think about how some friendships are more transient than others. I still have contact with most of the friends I had from that time period; granted it's not frequent, just random "hellos" and "how are you's." They aren't 'best friends' or 'close friends' like they used to be.
Obviously a person has a close core group of friends he or she carries, but other than a few people, I think most friendships are not meant to last. We choose friends based off of where we are in life, how those people make us feel, what we have in common, and what we can gain/give. What happens when we outgrow the friendship? We move on.
Perhaps I should revise my statement that "most friendships are not meant to last." People move in and out of our orbits, you can be close to someone, they can be your best friend, for many years and then you drift apart. You might spend a good number of years just exchanging random hellos but never having much of an interest in that person ... and suddenly life shifts and the two of you find yourselves best friends again.
I very much subscribe to the "you get what you need out of it at the time" theory. When someone is a close friend for a period of time and then the friendship drifts (as long as one friend hasn't screwed the other over), I think it's usually because the friendship becomes obsolete. It doesn't mean someone did something wrong.
Thinking about all this and having looked at the album tonight, I have to wonder if I would mesh with my old friends now. If I could assemble all these people into a room and have a big party like the days of old would we all get along? Would it ruin the memories?
.Tonight I took to looking at a photo album of myself and some friends from way back ... the photos ranged from 1996 to 2004. What struck me while looking at all these pictures was the passage of time.
I guess it makes me think about getting older and reflecting on the choices I've made in life.
It also makes me think about how some friendships are more transient than others. I still have contact with most of the friends I had from that time period; granted it's not frequent, just random "hellos" and "how are you's." They aren't 'best friends' or 'close friends' like they used to be.
Obviously a person has a close core group of friends he or she carries, but other than a few people, I think most friendships are not meant to last. We choose friends based off of where we are in life, how those people make us feel, what we have in common, and what we can gain/give. What happens when we outgrow the friendship? We move on.
Perhaps I should revise my statement that "most friendships are not meant to last." People move in and out of our orbits, you can be close to someone, they can be your best friend, for many years and then you drift apart. You might spend a good number of years just exchanging random hellos but never having much of an interest in that person ... and suddenly life shifts and the two of you find yourselves best friends again.
I very much subscribe to the "you get what you need out of it at the time" theory. When someone is a close friend for a period of time and then the friendship drifts (as long as one friend hasn't screwed the other over), I think it's usually because the friendship becomes obsolete. It doesn't mean someone did something wrong.
Thinking about all this and having looked at the album tonight, I have to wonder if I would mesh with my old friends now. If I could assemble all these people into a room and have a big party like the days of old would we all get along? Would it ruin the memories?
Welcome to My Asshole
Alright, so the first few posts here are going to be copied from my MySpace blog. I am in the process of migrating all the blog entries off my MySpace blog to this site, so that I can close my MySpace account. Let's face it: MySpace is on its way out. No one really uses it much anymore, and my blogs don't really get much exposure there. Any blog migrated from MySpace will be noted as such, along with the original publishing date on MySpace.
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