The stupid cunt to which I am referring first is the package of coconut macaroons sitting in the fridge. The bottoms are lightly dipped in fudge so when I pop one of the bite-sized morsels in mouth ... two, three, four more follow. I allow myself to bask in the oral satisfaction cascading down my taste buds before I bring myself back to reality. Those last tricky fifteen pounds are never going to come off if I keep doing that. "Fuck it, they're too good! Who gives a shit if you're fifteen pounds overweight?" Then I get dressed for work the next day and realize if I don't stop I'm going to need to replace an entire wardrobe!
*Sigh*
Another cunt of the highest order is the pair of dress shoes I own. They 're cute, they're black, and they're shiny. But they hurt my fucking feet! If I drove to work (Holy Satan Jesus Christ Gang Bang I miss driving!!!) it wouldn't matter; walking and riding the bus on the other hand is not so pretty on my pretty feet. And yes, my feet are pretty. Do you have a problem with that? Must replace the cunt shoes. Must replace the cunt shoes. Must replace the cunt shoes.
... and speaking of the biggest cunt ... the weekend. Taunting me. Promising me a good time with flashy shiny objects. But does she deliver? Noooooo, it's all "Oooh I'm here, I'm waiting, I want you." What a tease. What a cunt.
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